"I am the Alpha and the Omega," Jesus told me. Again, I am John, the disciple Jesus loved and I was privileged to see who Jesus really was and what He had done for humanity. What He had begun on earth continues in far greater glory in heaven. The more He would be opposed on earth, the more He would conquer the hearts of men and women, young and old. Whenever a people will close one door, He will open another among another people. Hell will not prevail against His Church or Kingdom because they are as eternal as He is. His followers shall celebrate Mass on earth and in heaven. Even God, the Father, has bestowed the highest honor on the Son.

The greatest of all honors is the power to bestow eternal life on carnal man. Jesus had and still has that power. He left us this assurance that all could hear. "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him greater things than these. For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it to. Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son, that all my honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father, who sent him."
"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live. For, as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man."
"Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and come out - those who have done good will rise to live, and those who have done evil will rise to be condemned. By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me."

The King of Glory will not be unseated by the forces of evil under the direction of Satan, the beasts and all his false prophets. Heaven and earth will pass away, but not the Words of the Son of God. He will return to judge every one, great or small based on what they have done. Before that day of reckoning, God will give mankind every opportunity to repent. That is the reason I was chosen to record the signs and predictions that shall precede the Day of Judgment and the time when eternal life will commence. Woe to those that shall disregard or alter the message of this disclosure. My Lord Jesus instructed me to write this scroll and send it to the seven churches where the final drama of this world will take place.

Satan, the destroyer (Abaddon - Apollyon) will muster his forces against Christ and His followers. Power hungry persons (white horse) shall use war (fiery red horse) and food (black horse) to kill (pale horse). The people of the God of the Bible and the followers of Jesus the Christ shall be blamed for Satan's failures and shall be annihilated. Their prayers shall cry out to God for justice. Satan shall create a religious simile to the Christian Christ and His Church in order to confuse and replace faith in Christ and the true Creator. The chaotic conditions created by bloodshed of the innocent will result in natural disasters and in plagues and woes the world has never seen before. In spite of the evidence evil shall be doing, humans shall refuse to repent and they shall continue to blame the Hebrew -Christian God for their own sinful ways.

The world will unite behind Satan under the name of Babylon and exercise absolute authority over everyone on planet earth. This body of world leaders shall be taken in by a religion that shall require assistance. Ten nations will be allowed to grow strong and these ten shall unite and topple Babylon. For 1260 days, the world shall be at their mercy. Then the Lamb or King of kings (another rider on a white horse) with His heavenly army (on white horses) shall slay Satan's forces and imprison him for a thousand years. During this time, Christ will reign in peace with those at His side that lost their earthly lives because of Him. The other dead shall be raised after the thousand years and after Satan has been granted a brief time to repent. His failure to do so, will end him in eternal incarceration in hell and those whose names shall not appear in the Book of life shall join him.

The place that our Lord Jesus promised to prepare for us shall be much more than a place in a mansion. It will be a new heaven with a new earth and a New Jerusalem with God and Christ at the heart of everything. Nothing unclean or evil shall ever again tarnish the image of God or destroy what He has made. We asked our Lord when the end would come and His replay was that it would commence with "the abomination that causes desolation of the House of God and the Holy City, spoken of by the prophet Daniel." It shall begin in my generation and in Revelation, the person with the number 666 and his followers shall dominate Jerusalem for 1260 days. At the end of these days, chaotic and devastating events will result in massive suffering and destruction of the area surrounding the Holy Land. At last, Israel will welcome the Messiah and Christ will forever vanquish evil. Remain faithful during your time and you shall be present at the first resurrection. For us to participate in the hereafter we must earn the right to celebrate Christ in this life.

Epilogue: The word "generation" used to define a human lifespan can also imply the time frame of a religion. This provides us with some very interesting statistics. From the days of John to the time of the beast's prophet in the 666 AD, plus 1260 years (rather than days) and plus the time Rome destroyed Jerusalem and Israel are 1945 years. Israel became a new nation in 1945. Another interesting statistic is that a hostile religion began in 666 AD and it trampled on the Holy City and ground for 1260 years, until 1945. A third statistic is that Christians have also suffered the severest opposition for 1260 years from the same hostile religion that has its origin in 666 AD. In my humble opinion, our Lord Jesus' fig tree is budding and the message in Revelation is becoming more fearfully relevant.

I am Saul of Tarsus. Yes, I am the one that guarded the clothes of those that stoned Stephen, that persecuted the followers of Jesus and that met the Lord on the road to Damascus. My Lord Jesus had to make a special appearance to halt me from my zeal to persecute His followers. I was zealous for the traditions of our fathers and used the law to enforce them. I disobeyed the counsel of my teacher Gamaliel who cautioned us to wait and see whether Jesus was of God. I took it for granted that God was on our side. There were more than five hundred witnesses that would have disagreed with me, but I believed our false leaders and misrepresentatives of our sacred writings. I had to be blinded with a beam of light from heaven to bring me to my senses. That is why I was the last and the least of the apostles to receive mercy from my Lord Jesus, the Christ.

Being a follower and witness for Jesus was an enormous difficult task for me. The arrows that I used to point at those whom I persecuted were now pointing at me. My own background of being a Benjamite, a Hebrew and a Pharisee Rabbi were against me. My very name "Saul" was a reminder of the first Hebrew King that failed. In order to become the apostle of Grace, I had to become a new man in Christ and adopt the name Paul. I had to become all things to all men in order to win them for Christ. I had to oppose the Jewish leaders that were turning Gentile into Jewish Christians. The law was used to enforce dietary and ritual Jewish traditions. It became my task to distinguish the Ten Commandments from these man-made rules. To keep converts that we made on three of our missionary journeys informed, I used the pen instead of my voice. The pen could go where I could not and beyond. With able assistance like Tertius, Titus, Timothy, Barnabas, Mark and Luke, I could witness to more people than anyone else of the apostles.

Grace played the major rule in my life. I was faultless according to the law; but it was the Law that taught me that I was not good enough to earn salvation. I had done too many things that had violated the very Law that I tried to obey. The Law that had led me to persecute now showed me that I was in desperate need of grace. I could not retrieve my past behavior. Only God in His infinite mercy could forgive me for my misconstrued deeds against the Christians. What was true regarding me was also true regarding my countrymen. They persisted in abusing God's Law for their own justification. Without help from Jesus, I was not aware that Grace was available. He taught me to trust Him because of Him God does forgive. Christ Jesus had made Grace real for all of us. Did I discard the Law? How can I abandon the Law that I depended on to remind me how important it is to keep me dependant on Grace? Grace does not change our morality but it reinforces it. It was because of the Grace Jesus extended to me that I worked out my salvation with fear and trembling.

Jesus sent me to Ananias to remove my blindness and I instantly proclaimed Jesus as the rightful Messiah. First, I tried to reach my countrymen in our synagogues. Their refusal to accept Jesus and their hostile attitude toward Barnabas, Silas and me drove us to go to the Gentiles. We met in homes and outdoors wherever an opportunity opened up. Many households became Christians and many became faithful leaders, willing like us suffering for Jesus our Christ. I had hoped that our success among the Gentiles would motivate our fellow Jews to turn to Jesus the Messiah. When the Jews did not respond, I came to the conclusion that they would accept Him when He came back to take us home to be with Him. I also believed that it would all happen in my generation. But, when I was taken to Rome, it became apparent that God had designated another time for my people to be delivered. This was obviously a time for the Gentiles. They too will take God's grace for granted like the Jews, and then the Jews shall have another opportunity to follow Jesus. It was with that hope that I was dispatched from this world to be with the Lord Jesus.

Next to Grace, I believed with my whole heart in the resurrection of the dead. The soul or life must return from whence it came and give an account for its deeds. Grace in Christ gave us a change to change and to mend our ways so we can return to God and be forgiven for our ignorance and foolish ways. God left the choice in our hands as to where we want to end up. His competitor, the devil, has also prepared a world for his followers. I was unaware that I was headed in the wrong direction, but the living Christ appeared as the risen and glorious One and set me straight. He became my evidence and absolute hope that the dead live again. He did not appear to me in the flesh but in a form that is imperishable and eternal. Flesh and blood cannot return to God. We shall all be changed into heavenly beings, like angels, and live forever. That was why I used all my energy to convince all men to accept Christ Jesus who was sent to show us the way back to God.

The life I led as an apostle or missionary was tedious and hazardous. I supported myself as a tentmaker. My fellow laborers and I faced many hardships and much opposition. We regarded these as privileges to suffer for the price of salvation. We had learned to be content and at peace with ourselves. In Christ, we were neither male nor female, Greek or Jew but fellow members of Jesus' invisible body. We were one in mind and spirit and fully aware that like our Lord Jesus, we too might become living sacrifices for Christ. We were prepared to lay down our lives and become sacrifices, if it were possible to convert our countrymen or our Gentile constituency. Only, that would not have gained us any merits for God our Father has designated but one name by which we can be saved. That name is Jesus. He had singled me out to direct you His way.

I am Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus. Through my cousin Mark and his family in Jerusalem, I had familiarized myself with the events surrounding Jesus. During this time, I became acquainted with some of His disciples. I too was in Jerusalem for the Passover and lived through Jesus' final days and His resurrection from the dead. We were surrounded with a mysterious uncertainty. It changed suddenly when we had come to pray on Pentecost. The place shook and people began to come alive about Jesus. Most of these people were speaking in languages that were foreign to them. Men that hid from the authorities out of fear were fearless. Simon Peter defended the event as an act of the outpouring of God's Spirit on all of us and that it was the result of Jesus mission to Israel. From that day on, I became an intimate member of that group and did what I could to spread the message of Jesus our Lord and Savior, the Messiah or Christ.

At this time, I had no idea where and what my role would be. Being human and opportunistic, the power of the Holy Spirit got the best of some of the early followers. We had yet to learn that our bodies had to be subjected to the Spirit and that they were not exempt from persecution and death. Peter and John were miraculously delivered but Stephen and James Zebedee were not. Our Pentecostal experience reached a high point and then persecution began to reduce our numbers. Instead of moving away from Jerusalem, like our Lord had commanded, we stayed and expected His immediate return and snatch us up to be with Him. The result was that the members had stopped working and some were selling their belongings in anticipation of a departure from this world. To assist them, I too sold my holdings in Jerusalem. As time went by, we realized that we had misunderstood as to when Jesus was going to come back. This was where my Levite upbringing was helpful. Our Scriptures taught clearly that the Messiah was to be a light to the Gentiles. I began to comfort and encourage the followers of Jesus that began to doubt their own convictions. After this, they renamed me and called me Barnabas, Son of Consolation.

The congregation in Jerusalem consisted of three groups: Jesus original followers, Greek converts and Aramaic-speaking believers. The apostles or the twelve (Judas was replaced by Matthias in stead of me), appointed seven men to serve the congregation. One of them was Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. We became intimate friends. When Herod drove the Apostles from Jerusalem, Antioch had a substantial number of Jesus' followers. I was sent to encourage them and turned them into Jewish Christians. These followers called themselves Christians. I realized quickly that the task for me was too much. Then I remembered Rabbi Paul, whom I had introduced to the Apostles, as one that could best serve these people. He had converted from a persecutor to an ardent follower of Jesus. We both had Hellenistic backgrounds and knowledge of our Hebrew Scriptures. My choice of Paul as a teacher became a turning point for Christians. Antioch became the home base from where Christ's message could be spread. My cousin Mark, Paul and I convinced the Christian leaders in Jerusalem not to turn the Gentiles into Jews. Before that, the Antioch Christians felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to send a team out to evangelize. Paul, Mark and I became the first commissioned missionaries.

We were an unbelievable team. God's Spirit had preceded us and prepared the crowds for the message. People were hungry for hope and redemption, but so was the opposition. Our first opponent was Elymus the sorcerer. Paul had to ask the Spirit to blind him. That did not please Mark and he left us. I too wondered whether Jesus would have done what Paul did? Paul regarded the act as necessary and it began to turn us into supper humans. In Derbe, Paul healed a crippled man and we were regarded as Zeus and Hermes. We tore our clothes to prove that we were human. Some Jews from Antioch and Iconium that hated Christians took advantage of our predicament. They stoned Paul, dragged him out of the city and left him for dead. They were too busy with Paul and did not get a chance to lay their hands on me. Paul was nurtured back by those that believed in Jesus and we continued on our mission more carefully. We had learned not to impress our presence with miracles but with the good news that Jesus had intended for us to deliver. Hereinafter, we encouraged the new believers and appointed elders to watch over them. Upon our return to Antioch, we invited the congregation to join us giving praise to God for including the Gentiles in His Kingdom of Heaven. We had learned that the road to salvation was marked with hardships and suffering. Many came to hear but few began to confess Jesus as Lord and Savior.

Paul and I made one more attempt to be of comfort to the believers we had left behind on our first missionary journey. When Mark asked to be included, Paul was against it. Paul had a problem with accepting criticism and was rather stubborn to admit it. Down the road, I was able to reconcile the two. Mark became the first to write a simple account of Jesus that helped Paul's written messages to the congregations. In the mean time, Paul chose Silas to join him and I chose Mark and we went our separate ways. Luke went with Paul and continued to report his progress. I was pleased that my choice of Paul to represent Christ to the Gentiles was so well received. I am convinced that it was the Holy Spirit that led me to this man, introduce to those first followers of Jesus, convinced him to become the teacher at Antioch that led the congregation to send us out as the first missionaries to the world. It was a rich reward for having been the man behind the scene.

In reality, James was the second leg, rather than the third. First, there was Peter, then there was James, and then there was I, John. Yes, James or Jacob, or the Greek "Jakobon" dated back to Jacob or Israel, the father of our nation. He was the younger twin of Esau. Tradition has it that he held on to his brother's heel for that is what the name Jacob means. And when he bought the birthright from his older brother, he was labeled the "supplanter." Of course, James was none of those things. He was a faithful and hard-working Israelite or one that fought for God and not like Jacob who wrestled with an angel of God. As I stated, he was the third leg or pillar. Our system was based on pillars. At least three legs were required to uphold any system or structure. Even three witnesses were preferred to two. Jesus, too, followed that system and James was right in the middle of it. Peter may have been the frontrunner and I John the one that tailed, but James was the pillar in between. He did not talk as much as Peter did nor did he try to endear himself as I did; nevertheless, Jesus wanted James with him. Also, he knew how to assert himself quietly and let us know that he was one of the three close to Jesus. Peter was also very fond of James. At times, the two were inseparable.

Should you think that I am assuming too much then ask yourself why Jesus wanted James in his inner circle? I think that he was trustworthy and dependable. He also would pick up after us. He was good with details. We felt safe with James and Peter present. James was very good company because he listened and made us feel that what we said was important. Who do you think we leaned on or blamed for our mistakes? Jesus was too busy and so were Peter and I. Who was our liaison with the other disciple? He also had managerial skills. Back home, James helped his father run the fishing business. He knew how to deal with the hired hands and partners. We were not at all surprised that Jesus wanted James with Him as a witness in situations not suitable for the public. James witnessed the resurrection of the daughter of Jairus. He was with us on the Mount when Jesus changed into His heavenly glory with Moses and Elijah. And James, Peter and I were nearby when Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane? We know that my brother James, at the Last Supper, had reclined on the backside of Jesus. While I was facing Jesus, James was guarding His back. Our fellow disciples were disturbed at us when they learned that we had requested to be seated on Jesus' right and on His left in His kingdom. We were a bid presumptuous and too ambitious? Unfortunately, at that particular time, we had misunderstood our teacher on this issue. He had us with him for another reason that was important in His ministry. He wanted us to be His witnesses from the beginning to the end and in particular to His own suffering, dying and rising from the dead on the third day. And that is precisely what James was, a silent but steady witness that Jesus of Nazareth was the Chosen and Anointed One or the Son of God.

James and I, we were good students of Jesus. We always looked out for our teacher's interest. One day we saw a man using our teacher's name to exorcise demons. We put a halt on his illegitimate undertaking. He had no permission to work in the name of Jesus and he was not a member of our group. How could we have known that Jesus had secret followers and that it was all right for others to use His name? This was news to us. On another occasion we wanted to pass but rest in a Samaritan town. When the people learned that we were on our way to Jerusalem, they refused to be hospitable. Well, we were a bit thoughtless and our teacher called us "sons of thunder." We wanted to teach them a lesson like Elijah did the Baal prophets and have fire fall from heaven. How could we have known that Jesus had come to save even these unfriendly people? It was very difficult for us to accept the fact that our Lord the Anointed One had other sheep in the pastures of the world. We were reluctant and not willing to share our preferred statues with the Gentiles. He reminded us that we had the wrong attitude about using His name in the service of our fellow men.

There is one more fact that shall be recorded about James; namely, that he was the first of the disciples to be shipped off to heaven by King Herod Agrippa. Peter, James and I were the pillars of Jesus' organization. While Peter and I were spreading the Good News, James kept the organization running. The King reasoned that if he disposed of James then the group would stop proselyting. Herod was correct. The gathering of the disciples ended and they were driven from Jerusalem. Jesus' followers were scattered as they were meant to do in the first place. We were not to get hung up in Jerusalem and wait for the Anointed to establish His kingdom on earth. We had forgotten that He had ordered us to reach out to Judea, Samaria and into the uttermost parts of the world. My brother's death hastened the world mission of Jesus. It inspired us to dare things in Jesus' name. James, who had never promised to lay down his life or stick out his neck for anyone or any cause, became a threat to the king and his constituency because he was a follower of Jesus our King. What else can I say, but that I was proud of my brother how he honored our Lord Jesus by giving his life for Him? Be not at all surprised that posterity will call my brother James, "The Great One" and name their organizations and children after him. There were others called James, but no one was as close to Jesus the Son of God than my brother James and I.

We were mending our fishing nets when Andrew returned from a trip all exited telling us that they had found the Messiah. He insisted that I go with him to meet this Prophet from Nazareth. To please my brother I went along. Before Andrew could introduce me, this man said, "You are Simon son of John. You will be known as Peter (the Rock)." He knew me without having ever met. The very next day, Jesus showed up where I was fishing and caught nothing. He took over my boat and lectured to the people. Then, He ordered me to go out and fish against my objections. We obeyed and were shocked at the catch. We called for neighboring boats to bring in the haul. Being a very sinful man, I fell on my knees and begged the Holy Man to leave me. He paid not attention to my plea but ordered me to follow him and He would make me into a fisher for men. I was powerless to refuse and so were my brother Andrew and our partners James and John Zebedee.

Before we realized what was happening, Jesus had practically taken over our home in Capernaum, healed my mother-in-law and scores of others. The next morning, we found Him praying in the hills and preparing to take a trip around the country to proclaim that the kingdom of God had arrived. While He preached, we learned that we had become his students or disciples. After we had watched Jesus heal and perform miracles, He appointed twelve of us to be missionaries or apostles. He gave us some of his power and sent us out to preach and heal. We returned elated that the demons had obeyed us; but Jesus dampened our success by telling us that self-glory was of the devil. When our Teacher began to tell us that He would be killed, I promised to defend Him and that too was of the devil. I saw in Him the Son of the Living God, but not the one that was Lord over my life. I had been with Jesus all this time and had not converted to what He came for and stood for. He told me plainly that I had to change before I could strengthen my brothers. Jesus also told us that one of us would betray Him. Who but I insisted that I would not. He put me in my place and said that all could hear that I would deny that I knew Him three times. Everything He said about me was true.

Jesus saw in me a man that He depended on. He promised to build an organization where I was to be the foundation. Only the Zebedee brothers and I were privileged to be present when He resuscitated the dead, when He was on the Mount of Transfiguration with Moses and Elijah and when He prayed His last prayer in Gethsemane. What were we doing? We were plotting how to be the leaders of His kingdom, how to build huts on the Mountain and fall asleep when our Master needed us the most. Yes, I am the one that wanted to walk on water, strike with the sword to defend our Lord and used a dark night to hide my identity but my tongue betrayed me. And when our Lord was taken from us in such a humiliating way, I too saw our own demise. All of Jesus' teaching about returning from the dead had completely escaped us. When some of our women and followers told us about the empty tomb and of someone that looked like our Lord, I was no longer that quick to accept such witnesses. He had to appear twice before I was convinced Jesus was alive. Even then, I was not certain as to what He wanted me to do.

Jesus had instructed us to wait in Jerusalem for a special event that would define for us what role we were to play in spreading His kingdom, what ever it was. I did not wait. I went back to Galilee and to fishing and so did the others. Here I was with a group of men that felt lost. It was on the fortieth day that things began to change. A man on shore asked for fish and John recognized the Lord. Again, I hid in the water while the others brought in the catch. Jesus prepared a breakfast for us in silence. Then, for all to hear, Her asked me twice whether I truly loved Him and once whether I really was His friend. At first, I felt hurt and thought about having denied my Lord three times. But when He put me in charge of His sheep and lambs, I realized that He entrusted me with the leadership of His followers. He took His leave for heaven from us on a Mountain. We returned to Jerusalem where on Pentecost more than a 120 people were empowered to proclaim Jesus moral or spiritual kingdom to the world. I became the spokesman to the people and before our political and religious authorities. The Lord's Spirit in my life made me fearless and bold. I healed in Jesus' name and so did my shadow. No jail could hold me. After I had taken drastic actions against Ananias and Sapphira, things changed. I certainly had not done what Jesus did with his opposition. I no longer felt that strong or safe and had to leave Jerusalem altogether. Jesus' words that I too shall be led where I did not want to go began to hunt me. I had yet to learn that the Holy Spirit was not given to protect us physically but to proclaim the name and mission of Jesus.

I was an orthodox Jew and had no place for the Gentiles in God's Kingdom. Brother Paul criticized me severely for my un-Christ like behavior toward the Gentiles. I was in Joppa resting when in a vision the Lord demanded three times that I eat unclean animals. When I refused, He informed me that what He had purified I was in no position to make impure. At the end of the third vision, a delegation from Cornelius asked for me. The Spirit urged me to go with the men and when I entered the home of the Roman Officer and before I could open my mouth, the household of Cornelius experienced what we had happen to us on Pentecost. God loved the Gentiles just as much as He did us. I helped Paul to admit them into our fellowship as equals and helped sanction his mission to the Gentile. I ended up in Rome where in secret I continued serving my countrymen in dispersion. I knew that my days were numbered and I requested that I be crucified upside down. I no longer feared those that killed the body but could not touch my eternal soul.

My identity will puzzle historians. Those, who will write about Jesus, shall identify me by different names. Some called me Simon the Zealot. Simon means being "snub-nosed." There was something about that description. I snubbed at some ideas and at some people. When I was first told about a "Man" by the name of Jesus from Nazareth, I tried to dismiss Him as if anything worthwhile could come out of Nazareth. To me, it was an unimportant place with unimportant people. What could possibly come from such an insignificant place? I raised my nose a little higher than I should have and then ended up swallowing my pride. The word "Zealots" was not my family name, but my zealousness for my country and my faith. I burned up inside of me at the political and religious situation of our nation. I was ready and willing to take up arms and drive our enemies and false leaders out of our country. I was, however, waiting for the right leader to come along and guide us. I expected "Him" to be another Moses or a King David and not some unknown carpenter's son from Nazareth. I was a proud enthusiast. I did nothing half-ways. I put my heart and soul into the cause of delivering our people from oppression.

Actually, I came from Cana in Galilee. That is why some identified me as Simon of Cana. Cana was a real town and not just an Aramaic word for a zealot (Kana). Our town may have been named for the zealousness of the people for Israel. We had quite a few that were zealous for the Lord and for our country. We were preparing ourselves for the Messiah. I personally studied the Scriptures and prayed by myself for the Day of Yahweh. And many of us expected that Cana provided the kind of an environment that would bring forth a leader that would match the prediction of Moses and the Prophets. We had a garden of figs and one tree in particular became my place of meditation. My friend Philip knew about it. After he had met the Man from Nazareth, he was anxious to share his discovery with me and told me that he and someone else had found the Man that Moses and the Prophets had written about. And told me that He was Jesus of Nazareth. That floored me. Nazareth was not and had not been known for any contributors to the delivery of our people. There were no zealots or enthusiasts in Nazareth. How wrong could I have been? If I only had studied my Scriptures a little closer and were not so obsessed with heroism, I would have learned that the Lord told the prophet Samuel to bypass the heroic sons of Jesse and anoint his shepherd son David to be the next King of Israel. He was merely a lad when the Lord delivered the giant into his hands and freed our people from the invaders.

Philip knew that talking would not do much for my fixed mind. He simply told me that I had to come and see for myself. Was I in for a surprise! When Jesus saw me coming, he said, "Look, here is a genuine Israelite, in whom there is no deception.'' I asked Him "how do you know me?" He replied, "I saw you under the fig tree before Philip found you." I was overwhelmed and declared, "Teacher, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel!" We then heard Him say, "You believe because I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things. In truth, you will see heaven open up and the angels of God ascend and descend on the Son of Man." What a revelation that was for all of us. We were not just in the presence of a leader like Moses or David, but with the Son of God in person. He was far greater than all of our past leaders were. We were soon to learn that He was before Abraham and before the world was created. It seemed to me, that I was dreaming. I, the skeptic, had just professed before the others that Jesus of Nazareth was indeed God's Son and Israel's King. The reason that I knew who He was is because He knew who I was. He looked into my heart as no other man ever did. And what Jesus saw in me was exactly how I felt.

My real name was Nathanael. It meant, "God has given." Indeed, God had given me insight as to who His Son was. In that sense, I was blessed above everyone else in the group. I am also one of the followers Jesus did not have to call. Once I was convinced, I followed Him on my own and I had the privilege of inviting Him to my hometown of Cana for a wedding. He honored us by turning water into wine and brought joy to our wedding party. It was also in Cana, where my Lord snatched our Roman guardian's son from death. The remarkable thing about this Roman officer was that he believed before his son was saved from death. He was the exact opposite from what I was. I had to see in order to believe; but he believed in order to see. These, and many other lessons, I learned while I traveled with Jesus. I, too, met the Risen Lord in Jerusalem and in Galilee. I, along with others, went fishing with Peter on the lake when Jesus appeared to us for the third time. He treated us to a breakfast and then appointed Peter as our leader. We were ordered to return to Jerusalem and wait for the Holy Spirit. Before He was lifted up into the clouds, I was one of those who anxiously awaited the restoration of Israel to nationhood. But He bypassed our concern and told us that it was not up to Him to give us a date. Instead, our job was to announce Him to the whole world. Being a true Israelite, I chose to serve Him at home among my people. Posterity will report that I ended up as the head of the Jesus movement in Jerusalem. I was still zealous but not to restore Israel by force but by conversion, one soul at the time. It was heartbreaking to realize that we would not have enough time to reach every one of our people. It was even more painful to see that our political and religious leaders were leading us like sheep to the slaughter. I firmly believed what our Lord Jesus predicted regarding the destruction of Jerusalem, the Temple and our nation would come to pass. In choosing Barabas over Jesus, the desolation became unavoidable. Hopefully, posterity shall believe Jesus' message of how to gain peace rather than war. I know, for I was zealous for the wrong cause.

I was the disciple of the heart. Mine was not bigger than the hearts of the other disciples of Jesus; but, perhaps it was more sensitive and introspective. I went more by my feelings than I did by my thinking. For me, what Jesus did was more spiritual than rational. He did and taught things that only the heart could grasp. When Jesus talked to us how we could be a blessing, and when He mentioned that the pure in heart would see God, He must have me in mind. I did try very hard to remove all undesirable things from my thoughts. I could not think evil of others. I felt everyone was better than I was. Even when people would make mistakes, I believed they had a reason for it. If they sinned against me, I would forgive them the very moment they transgressed and not hold it against them. This was how Jesus felt and I identified with that attitude. It was His compassion and sensitivity that touched me most of all. And I believe that He felt the same way about me and chose me to be on His team. Jesus needed a follower that had a sensitive disposition for people that could not always be in charge of their lives, situations, and even of their thinking. Thoughts do not always guide our actions.

I did not arrive at this conclusion on my own, others did. My real name was Judas son of James, but my nicknames were "Thaddeus" or "Lebbaeus." I, along with many others, was named after Judah, fourth son of Jacob and Leah and founder of the Jewish people. I, too, was a descendant of David and in that sense a second to the son of Joseph or Jesus. My name stood for praising God and being a blessing for my parents and others. Naturally, I tried to do my best and brought honor to my name. We Jews were sort of special to God and the proof lay in the fact that we still lived in the land of promise, while the other tribes had long ceased to exist. With Jesus, I too, believed in the revival and return to a kingdom that was at least similar to the one David was king over. Yes, I had much to live up to and when I met Jesus, I had much to live for. I, too, believed that Jesus had come to bring back the Praise of God. I was one of those that cheered Jesus when He entered Jerusalem as the "One" that was to come in the name of the Lord and as the "Son" of David.

My nicknames confirmed the convictions of my heart. They reflected what I actually was. Thaddaeus meant being "a breast nibble." A breast nibble was close to the heart and intended to nourish babies. In a sense, we were all babies that depended on our mother's breast. There were times, when I did feel like being a nursemaid. Strong men do, at times, need feeding and recharging. My second nickname "Lebbaeus -heart" suggests that I may have been such a person. In that sense, I was a small nipple drawing others to my Messiah. And, I did depend on Jesus and the others to perform efficiently. The other nickname was Lebbaeus and underscores my closeness to the group. Lebbaeus stems from a word that means heart. It may have been for that reason that I was dubbed the "breast nipple" or "the heart." I was the kind of person the others could depend on and the one that had an open heart. They could confide in me and share their secrets as well. I played a parental role among the apostles. We went through many heart-breaking and disappointing events with and without Jesus. Even our own leaders; namely Peter, James and John Zebedee hit the bottom. Who, but I was left to comfort and sustain those of us that remained together? Most of the time, I did not say much; only, I would put my arm around a brother and drew him close to my heart. I was a man of praise and not of complaints. Our situation required comforting and encouraging. I was needed because I could feel and sympathize with my fellow disciples. I was not one who hung around to remind others, "I told you so." I felt that every problem was solvable. I did recall that our Lord told us that our heart was where our treasure was. My treasure was my Lord and then my fellow apostles and that is where my heart was.

I was not a speechmaker or one that raised questions. Most of the things our Lord taught us were clear to me, except for one when Jesus told us that He would appear to us but not to the world. I was curious how this could be that He would show Himself to us but not to the world? My question led our Lord to clarify what He meant. Obviously, Jesus was not going to be with us in body, how else could He be with us? His presence could only remain real if we stored His Words and our memory of Him in our hearts. To help us grasp His mysterious presence; we were to receive the Counselor or the Holy Spirit. This Person or Presence was to come from the Father and from Him. His Spirit would remind us of what our Teacher taught us and help us obey His Commands by loving each other. He would bring us peace - the kind the world knows nothing of. Our relationship among us would be of such a nature that even the world would notice that we were followers of Jesus. It was the Love our Savior had for us that we too would practice among ourselves and that it would became the envy of the world. I was very pleased because my nicknames represented such love.

Jesus' promise did come through. For a while, we did experience an amazing harmony among our ranks and those who joined us. Then the prince of this world intruded our fellowship and disrupted our union. We did not treat each other equally nor did we disperse as we were supposed to. We began to squabble as to who was getting and doing what. We ended up being more concerned with our physical needs than with the spreading of the message of Christ our Lord. We had yet to learn that His Presence was not restricted to a place, but was within us where ever we went. No one could remove us from His Hand, neither could we keep His love to ourselves. It was all because our Lord Messiah had take charge of our hearts and filled them with His love for the lost in this world. We soon learned that man cannot and will not change without handing over his heart to God!

I, John, the one whom Jesus loved, watched in horror what the Roman soldiers were doing to our Teacher. A week ago, He rode into Jerusalem being welcomed by a cheering crowd, ready to crown Jesus king. Less than a week later, His enemies were crucifying Him as the "King of the Jews." Jesus' mother, my mother and a few of us were watching in horror and listening to their verbal abuse, demanding that He come down from the cross, that is, if He really was the Son of God. He did not come down from the cross. Instead He forgave His enemies, instructed me to take care of His mother, announced that, "it was finished" and then died. At that very moment, the earth shook, the sky darkened, and we ran for our safety. Even the enemies knew that it was no ordinary "Man" they had tortured, humiliated and crucified but had not killed. He had died by His own choice. From some of our brave women, we learned that Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus had spared any more humiliation of our Leader by placing His body in a grave.

It was the most difficult Sabbath we ever had lived through. We were hiding in fear of being apprehended and crucified like our Master. Some of our women dared to take some embalming spices to the grave and prepare our Teacher for a proper burial. They had barely gone when some hurried back telling us that the grave was empty. Some claimed they had seen one or two angels telling them that Jesus was alive. Peter and the Other Disciple, that wanted to remain nameless, ran to the gravesite and returned. Peter was puzzled, but the Other Disciple believed that what he had seen in the sepulcher was proof that Jesus was alive. Towards evening, two of our friends from Emmaus insisted that they had supper with Jesus. Earlier, Mary Magdalene also was convinced that it was Jesus whom she had met in the garden that surrounded the tomb. To us, it was all but an imagination of the minds of people that could not face the fact that Jesus was dead. Even the words that the men from Emmaus recalled that Jesus had frequently spoken of His own resurrection made no sense. The dead were simply dead. For us, the end had come. We were even told by some of the women that the person that resembled Jesus wanted us to return to Galilee. That of course made sense and we decided on going back to fishing.

The Third Day was drawing to a close. Out of fear for our lives, we had bolted our doors and held vigil for our departed Leader. Out of nowhere Jesus appeared, stood among us and said, "Fear no longer!" Then He began to show us His hands torn by the spikes and His pierced side. Again, He told us not to fear by breathing on us His breath and hearing Him say to us that He was passing on the Holy Spirit to us so that we too could forgive the sins of those that sin against us, just as He had forgiven those that had sinned against Him. We exploded into joy and began to share our experience with the Risen Lord with others. Thomas was not with us that evening and refused to believe our story. A week later, Jesus appeared the second time and told Thomas to touch His wounded hands and side and told him to stop doubting and start believing. Thomas broke down and cried out, "My Lord and My God!" Jesus had a lesson for all of us. Hereinafter, we were to live by faith and not by sight. For the next forty days, we walked by faith and had many miraculous encounters with our Risen Lord, the kind an unbeliever would not comprehend.

Faith did not come easily. We needed much more convincing that our Lord Jesus was really alive. I am sorry to say it, but we depended far too much on visible evidence than on mere faith. We had heard our Teacher tell us that He would always be with us; only, we had no idea how He could always be present with us. Our Lord knew that we needed a third and final lesson on Him being always present in our lives. It happened when we were back fishing in our old fishing spots and caught nothing. Someone on shore asked us whether we had any fish to show for our effort and He told us that the fish were on the other side of the boat. Instantly, I recognized the voice of our Lord and told Peter, "It is the Lord!" Peter was not decent, he covered himself quickly and dove into the lake. The rest of us struggled to bring the boat in which was overloaded with fish. On shore, we shared quietly in a meal and we all knew we were in Jesus' presence. After the meal, Jesus asked Peter three times to reaffirm his loyalty and not to remind him of his threefold denial during our Master's trial. Our Lord trusted us in spite of what we had done. He trusted Peter with being our shepherd. As for me, Jesus had another mission. I was to follow my Lord in ways Peter would not. Neither of us understood at the time what destiny was intended for us. For a short time, we would bask in His glory and then carry His cross in addition to ours.

Our Lord took His leave from us on the Mount of Olives. At our last meal with Him, He instructed us to remain in Jerusalem for the Holy Spirit to replace Him and remain with us forever. His Spirit would empower us and clarify for us the nature and purpose of His kingdom. The Spirit impacted us even more than Jesus did in person. The Holy Spirit made the Name of Jesus alive and forceful. We, that once hid behind closed doors, were now proclaiming that Jesus was alive in public and before our hostile authorities. We were unafraid to face incarceration or death. We lost Stephen and my brother James and we gained an enemy, like Saul of Tarsus. We had yet to learn, that the Name of Jesus could not be contained in Jerusalem or Israel. He was even too big for the world to grasp or to stop. He, "Alone," became our Way, our Truth and our Life that took us back to God, our Heavenly Father. No other "Name" has that power to cleanse us, forgive us and make us fit for the eternal kingdom of God prepared for us before the very foundation of this world was laid. I, John, was privileged to have a vision to see that "No One" next to God was higher than Jesus, the Alpha and the Omega. It all began on the Third Day!

I am Caiaphas, the High Priest that prosecuted Jesus. I was convinced that this Galilean was an imposter because there was no prophecy that anyone that important would come from Galilee. As the head of our religion it was my solemn duty to plot against this man and eliminate him at any cost. He was threatening our lucrative positions and placed us at the mercies of Rome. The Nazarene influenced far too many people for our comfort. His clever plot to capture the hearts of the people by riding into Jerusalem on a donkey did not fool us. My lips could not call Him Jeshua or a son of David. To us leaders, He was a curse and not a blessing.

We were a powerful family and in good standing with Rome, perhaps not as satisfactorily with our own people. Valerius Gratus had appointed me to the high priestly office and I served for eighteen years. The last four were very troubling and resulted in being replaced by the procurator Vitellius with Annas my father-in-law. My obsession with destroying the pretender and curtailing his followers did not stop the movement. It was after I was replaced that we began to listen to Nicodemus and Gamaliel. I had abused our laws to condemn an innocent man and then continued to take on what seemed to be God's doings. I was trying to brand the followers of the movement as insurrectionists with no evidence to back my claim. Our attempts to imprison and prosecute men like Peter, John and Paul ended in failure. The Romans, and even our royalties, recognized our plot to turn religion into politics. It was the Roman law that now protected our enemies. Our hostility caused the Romans to suspect us of our loyalty to them. It was difficult to admit that we were on a path of our own demise. Be not surprised to hear about one that prosecuted the Christ became a Christian. I was one of those that did not know what we were doing.

To apprehend Jesus, we sent our agents to trap Him, but we ended up entangling ourselves. We dispatched our temple guard to arrest Him and they returned telling us that "No on ever spoke the way this man did." We confronted Him by claiming to be the legitimate children of Abraham and therefore the true followers of God. This Galilean had the nerve to tell us that if we were Abraham's children, we would love Him and not try to dispose of Him. He insisted what we were doing was the work of the devil and with his help we were fabricating lies about Him. He made us look as if we were the children of the devil and not of God. It became apparent to us that we had to act fast before we the council members became divided over Jesus. Some of the Pharisees were beginning to disagree with us, the Sadducees. We also realized that we needed to infiltrate Jesus' inner circle. We managed to lead Judas, one of His students, to believe that we merely wanted to apprehend Him for questioning and not for killing his teacher. The misguided man betrayed His Master with a kiss, realized his mistake, returned the thirty pieces of silver and hung himself. We, of course, had our enemy in custody and with the help of Annas my father-in-law, and without most of the council members, we condemned Jesus to die at the hands of the Romans.

The trial was not being held in council chambers but in our two homes. No one was present to defend Jesus. The witnesses against Jesus we secured and instructed what to say. We used legal trickery by taking words out of context and put our own meaning into them. It was I that called Him the Son of God at the trial and not He himself. Jesus had predicted that He would be dead for three days and come back from the dead. We took that to mean that He would destroy our Temple in three days. And we did not like the way He used the Sabbath to help the needy. We wanted Him dead and there was nothing and no one that dared to stop us from having this man removed from the living. Pilate, the Roman Governor was our puppet and all his attempts to free Jesus were of no avail. Our people were instructed to have Him crucified as one of the worst criminals. To us, Barabas was more deserving of being set free than Jesus. Pilate robbed our noses when he had his men crucify Jesus as "The King of The Jews."

The trial and the crucifixion went as planned, but the quick and sudden death of Jesus troubled us. After He had said something about things being finished and to forgive us for crucifying him, He stopped breathing. We had a soldier pierce his side and He was dead. To mind came the Galilean's words that He would come back from the dead in three days. We had guards placed at his tomb and they shocked us by deserting the place and telling us the huge entrance rock moved by it self and the grave opened up. Now we had to silence these soldiers and had them tell that the disciples had come to claim the Nazarene's body. To our dismay, the Galilean kept reappearing and so did other departed. The more we tried to stop the rumor of a dead man being alive, the more witnesses insisted that we had interfered with God's intention to save us. We had tried to kill the Christ and we had failed. We commissioned our loyal adherers to apprehend Jesus' followers and they too became believers and even martyrs. We ended up following men like Barabas, who turned the Romans against us. They took from us our positions, our properties, our homes and our city. From a distance, we watched them turn our beloved Jerusalem and our glorious Temple into ashes. Yet, in our blind stupor, we blamed our mismanaging on the Man from Galilee and his followers. God had come to deliver us and we did not recognize Him.

I was not lost, nor had I strayed from home as my introduction may suggest. The reason I was found was that Jesus, the Teacher, had come looking for me. He found me because He wanted me on His team. What I am saying is, Jesus specifically came my way. I am "Philippos," (Philip), the fifth disciple. The name is Greek and means, "friend" or "lover of horses." It was a popular name among kings, generals, leaders and those who respected the influence of Alexander the Great, whose father happened to be Philip of Macedonia. For whatever reason I was named Philip, I found it to be convenient and practical. With my name, I could access places and individuals that people with Jewish names could not. Like Andrew, I too could travel about the country without raising any suspicion. I, too, looked for the Christ and when Jesus sought me out and asked me to follow Him, I immediately responded. I had no doubt that I, too, had found the One of whom Moses and the prophets had written. Like Andrew, I too came from Bethsaida and like him; I easily made friends and I knew my way around the country. I was a person who could bring people together and also find ways to meet human needs. And I believe that my name was quite useful in my Lord's undertakings. I also believe that is why Jesus chose me to represent the people of non-Jewish descent.

You may wonder what my specific task was, in the group that Jesus had put together? I owe it to my friend John Zebedee, who became the beloved disciple, that I have been credited with certain deeds and functions. The other writers list me merely as one of the twelve whom Jesus had appointed as apostles and authorized to proclaim the Good News. Our job was to scout the country for Jesus. We were the disciples who were sent out to announce that Jesus was on His way. We were the men who secured shelter and found people that could provide for our Teacher and His followers. I did not belong to the inner circle of Jesus, like my friend John, his brother James and their cousin Simon Peter. My job was to enlarge the circle. Immediately upon following Jesus, I went looking for my friend Nathanael. Both of us had searched Moses and the prophets for the Messiah. Now, I was ready to tell Nathanael that we had found Jesus of Nazareth, who met the description. Nathanael was skeptical as to whether anything good could come from Nazareth. I knew that arguing with him was futile. I told him to come and see. His encounter with Jesus opened up a dimension of Jesus we had never expected. Jesus told my friend that he was a genuine Israelite and that He saw him under the fig tree before I called him. Nathanael was the first to call Jesus, "Teacher, you are the Son of God, the King of Israel." Jesus then told him that he believed because he saw him under the fig tree, but that was nothing in comparison what we were going to see in the future. Heaven would open up and the angels of God would ascend and descend on the Son of Man. We got all of this insight because I introduced Nathanael to Jesus. Nathanael was one of the rare people who had insight about Christ when no one among us had.

Another one of my tasks was to secure provisions. I belonged to those who believed in a full stomach. Our Teacher felt that we required a lesson on trusting Him. He asked me where we could buy bread to feed more than five thousand stranded people? I stammered that eight month's wages would not even offer a bite. My friend Andrew suggested that there was a lad with five buns and two fish. It all sounded so ridiculous. To the surprise of all of us, Jesus managed to feed the crowd and have a basket left over for each of us. For me, the lesson was that as long as I was with Jesus, I would not go hungry and that there was a direct line between Jesus and heaven. I had yet to learn, along with the others, how close Jesus was to heaven. We were in Jerusalem when Greeks asked me to introduce them to our Teacher. I told Andrew about them and then both of us told Jesus. That triggered another disclosure we did not have. Jesus announced that the hour had come for the Son of Man to be exalted. We did not link the exaltation with the crucifixion until after His return from the dead. He kept telling us that the Son of man had to be raised up so that all man, including Greeks, would have access to God. That day we were blessed with a voice from heaven confirming the elevation of the Son of Man as the One who would draw all men unto Him. We knew then that we were about to lose our relationship with the "Man" Jesus on earth, but we also were introduced to a greater relationship, which was with the Son of God in heaven. All that revelation was disclosed because of my friendship with Greeks.

There was one more lesson Jesus had in store for us. Again, I was the one who initiated it. Jesus had talked about the Father and a place in heaven for us. I felt that with His supernatural insight, He could satisfy my longing to see the Father. I knew the others had the same wish but did not dare to ask. Thomas had asked where Jesus was going, but I wanted to see the Father. This turned out to be the most crucial of all Jesus' disclosures. Jesus asked me, "Philip, how can you ask me to show you the Father when you have known me and been with me for such a long time? Don't you see that the Father and I are one and the same?" Without Jesus direct answer, we would not have connected Jesus with the Father. He represented the Father and the Father represented the Son. I was more puzzled than ever. Jesus had no problem reading the doubts on our faces. He went on to tell us that the link between Him, the Father and us would be a "Spirit." The Spirit will be Holy, of God and from Him. He will help us see and understand our relationship with God, the Father and the Son in heaven. This too was all a matter of faith or trust in Jesus' words. That was the only answer that appeared to satisfy me. Faith did not clear up the mystery for me. It took me beyond it. Henceforth, I lived believing what Jesus promised He could keep. I was blessed with asking the right questions at the right time.

Jesus' talk about leaving us, depressed us deeply. We were in desperate need to hear some encouraging words from our Master and Lord. He did not disappoint us. He told us not to fill our hearts with sorrow but with joy. He promised that for our trust in God and in Him, we would be rewarded with a place in His Father's house. The reason He was returning to the Father was so He could prepare places for us. He promised to come back and take us to Him so we could be together forever. During His absence, the Holy Spirit would direct us and keep us on the narrow road, the one our Lord Jesus had traveled on. We were scattered into the world to be a light to the nations and make disciple that would also continue the good news that Jesus, the Christ can save us from our sins and eternal separation from God, the Creator.

I had not fallen while I was a disciple of Jesus. I had fallen before I became one of his. My real name is Matthew Levi, son of Alphaeus. And my occupation was tax collector. Even without attempting an explanation, my name and occupation give you some idea how I had fallen. But, allow me to indulge a little for the sole purpose of showing that if Jesus was interested in me, He will be so much more interested in you. The religious people in my day would not touch me with a ten-foot pole; yet, Jesus defied public opinion and invited me personally to follow Him. Was I really that bad or did the people make me out to be that bad? What do you think?

When I was born my parents regarded me as a gift of Yahweh, for that is what the name Matthew means. They were religious and God - fearing people of the tribe of Levi. Levi was the third son of Jacob and Leah. In the conquest of Canaan, the tribe received no portion of any land. Instead, the tribe was to receive a tenth of all the income from the other tribes. The members of this tribe, beginning with Moses and Aaron, were to be the priests, scribes, lawyers, teachers and Temple servants. That is, I was destined to be one about God's business; instead, I was collecting taxes for Herod Antipas and Rome. My office was located at Capernaum and I had the backing of Herod's soldiers. Many of the taxes were collected by force. Then I collected a little extra for myself. As a result, I was hated and cursed by my own people and was regarded as a publican and sinner. There was no one worse than a tax collector. I was serving mammon rather than God. No one could fall any lower. And that was the time when Jesus passed my tax booth and told me to follow Him. I dropped everything and obeyed His call.

My first order of business was to invite Jesus to my home for a huge dinner and introduce Him to my friends of tax collectors and sinners. He was delighted to come. We enjoyed a cordial atmosphere over a hardy meal. Jesus treated us as if we were all one happy family. There was no rejection on His part. No prophet had ever brought us so much joy that even came to the attention of the good religious people. They were the Pharisees and they were a class all by themselves. They could not understand why this godly man Jesus would sit down with us publicans and sinner and eat and drink with us. They did not have the nerve to ask Jesus, so they bugged His disciples. When Jesus heard about it, He answered them in words that were plain and heavenly music to our ears. Actually, he said three things: One, He had come to be a physician to the sick and not the healthy. Two, He had come to help sinners repent and not the righteous. And three, he preferred mercy to sacrifices. That day, many of us repented and believed in Jesus as the Messiah. I of course, joined His group of twelve and decided to follow Him for the rest of my life.

I, too, became a witness to His Life, His Ministry, His Death and His Resurrection. I, too, became obedient to the "Great Commission" to go into the world and make disciples of Jesus. I, too, was filled on Pentecost with His Spirit and witnessed to many people. But my primary reason for having been called by Jesus emerged after He had left us and departed for heaven. At first, only those of us who knew Him personally spread His Words and His Work. As time went on and His return was delayed, stories about our Lord surfaced which did not happen. This brought about the need for some written documents. Not many of us were literally inclined. One of the leaders was John Mark. He wrote a short but precise account of our Lord and His Ministry. He recorded only those events and teachings that he personally had been a witness to as a very young man. I, too, had literary skills and wrote in Aramaic for our Jewish prospects. I concentrated on things Jesus had said and done which Mark had no knowledge of. I also followed the style of our Hebrew tradition. Our tendency was to arrange things into fives, like the five Books of Moses or the five Books of Psalms. Above all things, I wrote my account of Jesus as proof that the Law and the prophets had been fulfilled in Jesus of Nazareth. To my delight, my account became a source for other writers who tried to recapture the actual events, which surrounded the Life and Ministry of our Lord.

I was even more delighted that my work was being translated into other languages, primarily into Greek. One able writer took all of Mark's work that was written in Greek, combined it with my source and added a third more smaller account and produced the larger Gospel in Greek under my name. He felt that I had deserved that honor because I was one of Jesus' disciples and I had laid the blueprint for a complete work on the life and teaching of Jesus the Messiah. He contended that all he had done was fill in the spaces and he desired to be anonymous. Hence, the work became identified as the Gospel according to Matthew. And that what the work was. It was according to the way I understood and designed it. What pleased me beyond all expectations is that the Gospel according to my name became number one everywhere where the followers of Jesus gathered to learn more about their Lord. Especially my people, the Jews, became fond of having a Jewish work take priority over all the other Gospels that would follow. Posterity alone will determine whose work will survive their censorship. It was my hope and prayer that what I had started would continue unadulterated until the Lord returns. To posterity I am an example of what can become of a fallen or unworthy person that responds to Jesus' invitation to become a disciple and embark on being an apostle of Christ Jesus.

I have been the disciple that defies identity. One of the reasons is that nothing is being said about me except my name. My fellow disciple, John Zebedee did not feel that I had done anything worthwhile even being mentioned. If it had been for him, I probably would not have been chosen. He and his brother had reason enough not to want me on Jesus' panel of Twelve. They wanted what naturally belonged to me; namely, to sit on either the right or the left in the future Kingdom of David's son. Let me explain my origin. I am Bartholomew and why am I on Jesus roster of the Twelve? My name is Son of "Tholmai" and not "Nathanael" or any other name. Like the other Eleven, I too was called to be a student of Jesus and then appointed to be an apostle. I believe that this was a deliberate choice on Jesus' part to have me represent a segment of the forgotten people. He specifically declared that He was sent to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. Who were these lost sheep in Israel? They were not the Jews, who were laying claim to the house of David, and they were not the dispersed tribes. Yet, Jesus had come to the lost sheep in Israel. It so happens, that my family and ancestors were these lost sheep that were living in Israel.

For a glimpse of my past, turn with me to the Hebrew Scriptures and trace the name "Tholmai." It will take you back to King David, who married Princess "Maacah," the daughter of Tholmai King of Geshur (Hebron). Absalom was born to this union and I am a descendant of David's son Absalom. Go back, one more step, and you will find my people from my mother's side living in Canaan at the time of Moses, Joshua and Caleb. We were the tall people, they called giants. Because of us, Israel stayed in the wilderness for forty years. When our people weakened, the Israelites drove us from our land. At that time, we were the "Anakim," descendants of "Anak." My ancestor Tholmai was a son of Anak. We lost our land and homes, but we were allowed to remain in the country. With the help of David, before he became King of Judah and then Israel, our people re-established their kingdom. That is when King David married my distant grandmother. We need to go back a third step. The Anakim were the descendants of the sons of God and the daughters of men. These were the mighty and renown people of their time. Our people supplied knowledge and wisdom to others. The Israelites knew of our advances and kept many of us when they conquered our land. Our grapes alone convinced them that we were superior in raising fruit. And so we were in many other endeavors. My point is that I, too, belonged to the house of David and I had a claim on his throne. I, too, waited for the "One" Moses and the prophets wrote about to return us to the glory of my past great grandfather David.

Now that we have met, do I need to say more why I was chosen to be with Jesus while He was on earth and why I would best represent Him among the lost sheep of Israel? I was not picked because Jesus wanted twelve men to follow Him. I was picked for my background and skills that would fulfill the requirements of His Kingdom. He had other sheep that He wanted in His fold and I was aptly suited for that purpose. My name alone appealed to the descendants of Anak, the father of the Canaanites. In addition, there were songs about David's romance with Maacah daughter of King Tholmai and mother of Absalom. The fact, that I was a distant grandson of David qualified me, more than any of the others, to assist Jesus in the resurrection of the David kingdom. When I learned that He, too, was a descendant of David, I was delighted to join Him. Only, I did not immediately understand what He had meant by ushering in His Kingdom. It was not until after the Resurrection, that we were made to understand that His Kingdom was a moral and ethical empire. I was not meant to sit on a throne of David in the world but I, too, spread the news that God wanted man to live in peace and enjoy each other's fortune and fruitfulness.

Yes, I was one of those who were confused when Jesus was taken from us. I, of all people, saw in Him the past glory of King David and King Tholmai. I saw a golden opportunity of merging our people into one nation. Jesus had the same concern when He appeared to us after His Resurrection and shared a meal with us. He told us to stay in Jerusalem and wait for the promise from His Father. It would be an endowment of God's Spirit that would enable us to proclaim Christ and do His Work in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and the ends of the earth. We specifically asked Jesus whether He would restore the kingdom of Israel? For me, it would have meant the kingdom of Solomon, which included the kingdom of Tholmai at Hebron. Jesus had no such thoughts. He told us that God has His time and plans. Our mission was to tell the world that His Christ had come. I, along with the others, watched our Lord lifted from the earth and disappear in the clouds. We did return to Jerusalem and waited for the promise of the Holy Spirit. He did overpower us on Pentecost and ignited our hearts. I, too, was able to witness in languages that I had never heard. We were doing greater things than we had ever imagined in the name of Jesus. We multiplied in numbers so rapidly that Herod the king began to kill James and made us scatter all over the world. I went to many countries telling the people about Jesus, the Christ. My name will be found in Armenia, Phrygia, Lyconia, Mesopotamia and Persia. People will use my name to write stories and books because I was very close to Jesus of Nazareth, son of David and Son of God. Both Jews and Gentiles will use my name because I was a combination of both. I was one of the lost sheep Jesus had come to bring back into the fold and what an honor it was to serve the King of kings.

I was a lawyer or an interpreter of our laws. In fact, I was regarded as an expert in the legal profession. We had mainly two schools of legal interpretation. The Pharisees believed in an after life and the Sadducees did not. I was a bit skeptical about a life beyond and tried to ask ambiguous questions of those that believed in eternal life. For instance, one of my colleagues asked Jesus which one of her seven husbands would she keep in heaven? I used a more personal approach and asked Jesus directly, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?"

My intent was to test Jesus; but, He ended up testing me. Instead of giving an explanation as on other occasions, He answered with a question, "What does the Law say? How do you interpret it?" Jesus took me completely by surprise. I had to explain my own question based on my legal expertise. The only thing I knew about the other life was that God is eternal and to love Him would get me into heaven, that is, if there is one. It was my dubious question that led me talk about what I must do, rather than explain eternal life. In that case, I gave the correct answer by reciting the two greatest Commandments: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your will, and your neighbor as yourself." Jesus approved of my answer, urged me to continue loving God and neighbor and I would live because of it.

The mentioning of the neighbor opened the door for another test question. This one Jesus had to answer and I hoped to make my point. I was even more surprised when Jesus used a practical life example to demonstrate what I had to do to earn an inheritance of eternal life. He gave me an option of being three different people. Two of them were like I was and they did not qualify for the inheritance. The third person was not acceptable to me; but, he was the only one that would earn a place in eternity. Jesus began with a traveler that was attacked by bandits on the road between Jerusalem and Jericho. They beat him, stripped him, and left him for dead. A priest had to travel the same road. When he saw the victim, he passed on the other side of the road. Shortly after, a Levite did what the priest had done. Then a Samaritan on his donkey also traveled that way. He, too, saw the man lying on the ground and had pity on him. He poured oil and wine on his wounds and bandaged them. Then, he put the wounded man on his donkey and took him to an inn. He gave the innkeeper two coins in silver for the night. In the morning, before the Samaritan departed, he asked the innkeeper to continue caring for the victim and he would pay for the additional care when returned from his trip.

The example explained itself. Still Jesus asked me which of the three I thought was a neighbor to the victim? I could give only one answer, "The one who had mercy on him." And what did Jesus say, "Go and do likewise." In other words, Jesus told me to do what the Samaritan did. I felt accused and sentenced. How often have I crossed over to the other side to avoid rendering assistance to a needy stranger? In case I should be the victim, would I want a priest or a Levi come my way or a merciful Samaritan? And would the innkeeper trust me that I would return with more payment for the victim. More than anything, I was rather proficient with lip service, but not with deeds of mercy. I did serve the Lord God with my heart, soul and mind but not with my physical strength. I kept the Lord within me and did not take Him to those in need. I lacked mercy!

I was close to God's kingdom but not in it because I felt no pity in my heart. Jesus made us aware of what we must do to enter. As human beings we can love verbally, but that will not earn us the trust of love until we offer some physical evidence. In our Hebrew tradition, we closed the door to people that could have helped us inherit eternal life. Our traditions were to rigid and without mercy to allow us to care for those that were not complying with our laws or belong to our religious cast. For instance, during holidays and rest days, we could not treat a person in an emergency. We could rescue animals but not a human being. We were created to observe the law. It was our taskmaster. Jesus, on the contrary, held that the law was for man and not man for the law. We assisted the law while for Jesus the law assisted men. He made our traditions appear to be a prison. He had the audacity to tell us that if we did not love Him, we did not love God either. He tried to show us that love for God is best expressed in acts of mercy. This man, who claimed to be the Christ, insisted that love and mercy are the heart of the law.

I was not exactly full of mercy. My failure to test Jesus only added to my dislike for making me less worthy to earn eternal life than a Samaritan. It contributed to my desire to put Jesus away. After we had Him crucified, without consent among us lawyers, we began to have second thoughts about our deeds and quite a few became Jesus' followers. When it was rumored that He was alive and that many had seen Him, we began to find ways to discredit Jesus' resurrection. The more we tried to silence the reports that He had risen from the dead and ascended to heaven, the bolder His followers proclaimed their faith in Him. We simply could not stop His message that those who loved his neighbor, the way the merciful Samaritan did, would inherit eternal life. Some of our brightest students like Saul of Tarsus became profound believers in Jesus' mercy that leads to eternal life."

I am one of the people who laid a trap for another human being and I fell in myself. It all began when I invited Jesus to have a meal with me. He was eager to recline with me at the table in my home. He was quite at ease and I was very tense. I had my reasons; for, I was a Pharisee. It was unorthodox for me to be hospitable with this unrecognized Teacher. I could eat with Him across the table, but I could not be cordial with Him. I could not welcome Jesus with a kiss, wash His feet or anoint His head with oil. He was not of our class. Nevertheless, I invited Him so that I could ascertain whether the rumors about Him were true? I also was hoping that something would happen that would support my suspicion. For that reason, I announced that it would be an open luncheon so that someone could come in and embarrass this self-made Prophet Sure enough, a notorious woman was in the neighborhood and became the bait for my trap. She came in unannounced and brought with her an alabaster jar of costly perfume. She took her place behind my guest and began to weep. Her tears fell on Jesus' feet. Next, she wiped the tears off His feet with her hair, and kissed them. Then she poured her perfume on His feet.

That was precisely what I had hoped for. I could not have planned it any better. I did not have to say a single word. Her actions said it all. This tender scene of a sinful woman touching a holy man was absolutely disallowed by my society and our religious teaching. My trick to trap Jesus was working perfectly. Had Jesus been a holy person, He would have recognized this woman for who she was? To the contrary, Jesus accepted her tender expressions without hesitation or objection. From where I sat, it appeared to me that He approved of her actions. To me, this meant that Jesus was not who He said He was. I reasoned, quietly in my heart, that Jesus' lack of recognizing this woman was proof that He was no prophet. While I was wallowing in my conclusion, Jesus interrupted me saying, "Simon, I have something to say to you." Without hesitation, I replied, "Tell me, teacher." What was this Man going to say that could not even identify a sinful woman? How could He possibly explain His acceptance of this woman?

I thought I had Jesus analyzed. Instead, He had read my mind and laid me out like one spreads laundry to dry. Jesus knew me better than I knew myself. I had invited to test Him and He accepted my invitation to test me. He was measuring me with the measure that I was measuring Him. While I was trying to point one finger at Him, three fingers were pointing back at me. According to our tradition, He was guilty when He allowed this nameless woman to touch and serve Him; but I was just as guilty by letting her into my house. I had staged the embarrassing situation and provided Jesus with the ammunition for a lesson on guilt. I felt hot flashes about my neck and my face began to change colors. If Jesus had stopped here, I knew that I had trapped myself. I had proven by my action that He was right. Instead of Him being the center of attention, I became the religious villain. Our law stipulated hospitality to invites and strangers and I was too good and too clean to do either. I had not kissed Him, washed His feet or anointed His head. I had not even instructed my servant to do it. Here was this woman that did what I had neglected to do and Jesus was comparing me with her. How low do you think I felt at that moment? My plot was not turning out as I had anticipated.

I had an awkward feeling. I felt that I was being grilled. I was the one sitting on a hot stove and could not get off. Jesus began to tell us a story and then demanded that I decide what the answer would be. Two men owed money to their lender. One owed fifty and one five hundred. Both were forgiven. Then He asked me, "Which of them will love him more?" What choice did I have but admit that the one who had the larger debt? Then Jesus had all of us look at the woman and said, "Her sins are forgiven because she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little, loves little." He told the woman to go in peace for her faith in Him had set her free. I had to admit publicly that I was in the wrong until He forgave her sin. That to us was blasphemy. Only God could forgive sins. Who was this Man that did what only God could do?

I began to look into Jesus' view on forgiveness and found that He firmly believed that He could forgive sins and so could all human beings. It was forgiveness that was basic to human change and behavior. I also looked into our Scriptures and found that our Messiah or Christ would take away our iniquity and forgive us our sins. It also teaches us that we too must forgive if we want better relationships with each other. Jesus practiced our ancient laws on forgiveness. As we kept on hating and finding fault with Jesus, the more He kept on forgiving us. Even when we hung Him on a shameful cross, He kept on forgiving us. According to Jesus, we too had to forgive before God would forgive us. That was unacceptable for us who were the chosen seed of Abraham.

After the painful encounter with Jesus, I had time to ponder as to how much love we need before we are ready to forgive every transgression? If we copy the woman, then we too must shed tears of repentance, wash the feet of those we are not comfortable with and anoint them with perfume that induces them to like us. We can and must induce others to forgive us. Like the woman, we must take the initial step of love towards others to induce them to forgive us. It is the amount of love that determines the amount of forgiveness. A person that forgives his murderers must have an unspeakable resource of love. Jesus, no doubt, was such a person or a Christ that had such love worth celebrating.

I am Susanna and I, too, was remembered to have followed Jesus. Just think my name appears in a book that is all about Jesus. Only, one of the writers found room in his story of Jesus for me. All Luke, the Gentile physician, had to say about me is, "Susanna, with many other women not named, helped to support Jesus out of their own means." The other writers did not bother to mention my name; yet, I too was with Jesus to the end. Only, there I am one of the other women. There too, I am the nameless one on whom the Lord depended to make out on earth. Just think of the many women who never got their names printed or written or even mentioned at their own funeral; yet, without their contribution, regardless how small it may have been, things would have turned out differently. What would have happened to Jesus' mission without the help of the other women? I dare say, that His work would have suffered additional hardships. Our names were not up in front, but our deeds were. And that was why we were remembered for what we had done.

I also had my own reason why I followed Jesus. In fact, there were two reasons why women were drawn to the Prophet from Nazareth. He treated us as equals in the eyes of God and with the same rights that men had. He did not stone us for being raped or seduced. We were helpmates and not slaves. The other reason was that He opened His religion to the Gentiles, especially Gentile women. He drew all people to Himself. He was teaching us that God could live in our hearts and not in a temple or on a mountain. It was what we did and how we lived that mattered and not just what we believed in. Jesus taught us to care even for those that were not friendly or worthy. Among the Jewish people, my name was romantic and virtuous. I pretended to be a Jewess. Actually, I had Jewish and Gentile blood in my veins. I lived in a Jewish environment and found it difficult to be part of it. Very few of us were allowed any notoriety in a male dominated Semitic world. Jesus, too, had to practice discrimination. We were good enough to sacrifice and serve, but we were not proper enough to sit at the table with the men. For me, it did not matter. I was content, that this great spiritual Leader, allowed me to follow and serve Him. And I may not have been important to my Jewish companions; but to the Gentiles, I was. The mentioning of my name, in connection with Jesus, alone gave credence to His interest in people other than Jews. And that I supported Jesus' ministry added to the validity that He indeed approved of others. We were, after all, the other sheep that Jesus had come to bring home into His sheepfold. And I was grateful that I was permitted to be one of His sheep; especially, of being a woman at a time when our fathers had to pay the men for marrying us. We were treated like property and sold off when we no longer pleased our men.

For a moment, let me return to my name. It is actually a combination of two words, "Susa and Anna." Perhaps it should read, "Anna from Susa." Susa was the ancient capital of Akkad and then Elam. The Assyrians, when they carried away the ten tribes of Israel, they brought some of our people here to manage the affairs of their conquered territory. Both Akkad and Elam mean "su-sa-an" or "su-su-un." The ending "anna" to my Jewish friends stood for grace. Hence, I was the lady from the place of grace. And they had a good reason to regard me as a gracious lady from a place that had the means to help them. But, there was another reason, why my name had a rather romantic attraction. My Jewish friends never grew tired of reminding me of an Anna from Susa that almost lost her life because she refused to engage in immorality. Her full name, like mine, was Susanna. I, too, was virtuous and did not yield to the wishes of lustful men. Especially, since Jesus crossed my path, I found distinct reasons to resemble the Susanna of old. And I had learned to be gracious or being humble about it.

I, too, had traveled the road of suffering and sorrow. An evil spirit held me captive. It had demoralized my mind and my health. In spite of the money we had, no physician could free me from the mental tortures I went through. I had a diseased mind. I had such pain in my head that I would roll on the ground or floor. At times, I would tear out my hair and scratch my face. I would bruise myself by running into walls and objects, just to lessen the pain in my head. No normal person has any idea what it meant to have a tormented mind. In addition to the unbearable pain, I was being harassed with doubt and fear. In my mind, I concocted all the reasons for my prevailing condition. One of these was that I had committed some sin that was demanding payment. It was Jesus that drove out that evil spirit and showed me that I was an innocent victim of the demonic attack. He also helped me to understand that the evil spirits go after good and decent people. Their intention was and will remain to discredit those that believe in God and His moral laws. These bad spirits or demons thrive on laying snares for the just and righteous. Every little thing that I did wrong, the evil spirit would remind me of what I had done. Well, Jesus cleared that up for me and once again I became a romantic, but this time it was for the cause of Jesus. I, too, followed Him from town to town and village to village and helped provide for His basic needs.

Along with the other women not mentioned by name, we cared for our Healer all the way. We were not allowed to be near Him when our Lord was arrested, tried and tortured. But we did follow Him on the road to Calvary. We prayed and wept for Him. He told us to weep for ourselves. We watched Him being brutally crucified and heard Him cry out in pain to God in heaven for help. It was painful to stand with people that mocked our Lord. They wanted Him, to prove to them, that He was the Son of God by coming down from the cross. He had helped others, why could He not help Himself? I could have told them why He would not do these things. I had heard Jesus often enough that He had come to save life and not to take it. He had to give His life to ransom mine. What He was doing was dying for me so that I might live for Him. The greatest thing Jesus could ever do was to give His life for His friends and I was one of them.